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September 7, 2006 -- FOX'S two new shows premiering tonight, the Brad Garrett-fueled "'Til Death" followed by the martini-fueled "Happy Hour," will make you reminisce about NBC's old "Must-See TV" Thursday night lineup.

Or even to be thankful to NBC for moving "My Name is Earl" and "The Office to Thursdays this season.

Not because the new Fox shows are funny like those shows, but because the new shows are trying to be funny like those shows.

Mostly they fail, although "Happy Hour" does have its charms. "'Til Death's" Garrett, the man who made Jackie Gleason look like a disgusting manic-depressive jerk in that awful CBS movie, seems to be bringing the same unpleasant character to his first leading-man role in a sitcom.

His character, Eddie, is a disgruntled history teacher, married for nearly 9,000 days too long to Joy, (Joely Fisher) who seems not to work.

Their new next-door-neighbors, who've been married 12 days, are the new assistant principal of Eddie's school, Jeff Woodcock (Eddie Kaye Thomas), and his wife, Steph (Kat Foster).

Eddie is bitter about marriage and wives and takes it upon himself to teach naive Jeff how all women are out to emasculate men.

There you have it. Or not. "'Til Death" should be called "'Til Cancellation."

"Happy Hour," meanwhile, is a bad morph-job of "Seinfeld" and "Friends" but without the simplicity of the first, the chemistry of the second or the brilliance, timing, and writing of either.

This one concerns a loser, Henry (John Sloan), who gets thrown out by his girlfriend, Heather (Brooke D'Orsay), after they move to Chicago.

Henry picks up a "roommate wanted" notice in the building lobby and moves in with neighbor Larry (Lex Medlin), who takes it upon himself to teach naive Jeff that (again!) women are out to emasculate men.

Nothing new here, except for the Larry character, who carries the show as a Rat Pack wannabe who has martinis everyday at four while playing Dean Martin's "Ain't That A Kick in the Head."

If Lex Medlin learns to underplay Larry instead of overplaying it like some over-the-top Broadway musical comedy star, he could be the next Jeremy Piven.

If not, the show could sink faster than his martini olives.

No pressure here though, Lex, no pressure.

'Til Death"
Tonight at 8 on Ch. 5