By SUSAN KONIG
Last updated: 2:17 am
July 6, 2008
Posted: 2:00 am
July 6, 2008
Betty Friedan called it "the problem that has no name" - that feeling of married life as meaningless, women sublimating themselves for the betterment of their families. The wife's plea: "Is that all there is?"
Janet Carlson seemed to have it all: She was the health and beauty editor of Town & Country magazine, mother of two kids, a handsome and successful husband, a house in the 'burbs, domestic help and vacations. But she felt "half dead," which she defines as "unconsciously giving up any expectation of real happiness." In "Quick, Before the Music Stops," Carlson describes going through the motions of a life until her husband buys her ballroom dancing lessons. Call it "Eat, Pray, Tango." Or "How Janet Got Her (Literal) Groove Back."
Dancing was her pastime in her 20s, and she is reborn at age 45 to the point of obsession. She instantly plunges into the world of dance, gets in great shape and everything is looking up including her formerly "flabby butt."
It also gives her the courage to say goodbye to the man who bought her the lessons. Carlson and her husband can't seem to communicate, but she doesn't even need words with her dance partner. "Sergei gives reassuring smiles and gentle hand signals that we are fine." At home, she throws her husband's dirty laundry out the window. She is looking for "something that feels better." The rest of the time she is trying to make up with her two daughters who, it turns out, needed her all along.
As a wife and mom, Carlson denied herself the chance to thrive and be happy, until she meets the characters in her new dance community. But with dancing comes sexual tension, insults, tattoos and sweaty dancewear. Carlson prepares for her first competition by jazzing up her rear view: "I hand her the Swarovski crystal tattoo . . . and ask her help in applying it to my lower back just above my butt. It should sparkle nicely while I'm dancing; I like the raciness of it."
